Disclaimer

Nothing expressed here reflects the opinions of the Peace Corps or the U.S. government. I say this in part to protect them from getting blamed for anything I might say, but also to keep them from stealing my jokes.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

madam chambezi, year two

To be honest, there’s a lot I’m dreading about my rapidly approaching second year of teaching: the intricate bureaucracy, the sap-slow staff meetings, the focus on punishment instead of praise, the throng of school practices that defy logic, the demands placed on me as a white foreigner with connections and a computer. But there’s one thing I can’t wait for: seeing my kids again.
The student I’d predict to be most likely to go to university is Samson. He announced in the first week that he hoped to become a priest, and he did so in a sort of high-strung, highly enunciated, holier-than-thou manner that made me not like him very much – but he has since become one of my favorites. I marvel at his sincerity, his effort, and his limber way with language. He works miles ahead of anyone else in the class, forms sentences with varied structure, and has definitely reached the same neighborhood as fluency. And he is always smiling.
Jacob is the other star of Form 3, but he’s a little trickier to figure out. He perpetually wears a knowing smirk, and for good reason – usually, he does know. He readily raises his hand and jumps at opportunities to perform, but always with this slow, sly swagger, a posture that seems to say, “I don’t care that everyone’s watching me, but I know everyone is watching me.” Mysteriously, that classroom swagger fades on the street. He lives closer to me than any other student in the school, and yet he never comes up to me on his own. In fact, he is downright shy. I can’t explain it, but obviously the image you choose to project can be complex, especially when you’re 16.
There are other students who are less intellectually flashy, but whom I’ve been lucky to get to know. Petros is one of my favorites – he has the look and walk of a young Barack Obama, but presented in a wildly friendly, almost puppyish way. He drifts easily between the school social circles, but always sits alone in class, seemingly by choice. And he puts a heartwarming degree of effort in his English, despite the fact that it isn’t his best subject, and despite the fact that he is not the brightest in the class. He is hard not to notice.
There are others as well, of course: quiet, contemplative Richard, who prefers to just listen but writes spectacularly when given the chance; sweet, eager Elijah, who leaps at the opportunity to erase the board for me; sassy, straightforward Thoko, who is a girl with the air of a woman; and beautiful, brave Maggie, the first of any of the girls to approach me on her own, often the only girl to speak up in class, and the student who delivered an argument so passionate, cogent, and bold in one of our Life Skills debates that I consciously thought, “I want to be like her.” There’s whisper-voiced Felix, who I sense does not get treated well by his classmates, but whose time will come, and there’s multi-dimensional Benjamin, who runs with a rough crowd and comes to school erratically, but has started to glitter under the right light, turning in essays with surprising fluency and looking at me with more engagement and fascination. It’s hard to say who will still be here next year – my guess is the two suspendees, Bornface and Hastings, have slipped away for good. But others are harder to pin down, like Stanley, the boy who disappeared from school for weeks, was put in jail for attacking a woman, and then came to my house on a Saturday afternoon asking for help with his English. We’ll see.
The ten-year age difference between me and most of the Form 1s creates a much different dynamic. They’re more boisterous and bouncy, eager to talk because they’re less self-conscious about what they don’t know, but terribly difficult to talk to because everything they don’t know happens to be a lot. It’s a very female-driven room, too – Judith, Chance, and Bubile would run the whole show if allowed. (And to be honest, they could, undoubtedly). It’s harder to get to know the Form 1s in the sea of faces, but there are some standouts: adorable Cecelia, always in a pink jacket and ready to offer a guess, even if she is (unfortunately, usually) wrong, and mischievous Chiku, who means well but can never be trusted. (On an end-of-term survey, in response to the question “What did you like about this class?”, he wrote “You because you are so beautiful and wonderful and delicious.” Oh god.) There’s quiet, sharp Prince, who confided in me that he hopes to become a teacher “just like you”; Salayi, whose grades from the beginning of the term are almost unrecognizable compared to her final exam results (in a great way!); and sweet Divason, who sits in the back with rapt, faintly lovestruck attention, sending encouraging smiles my way that really help, whether he realizes it or not.

I admire them and I’m maddened by them. They disappoint me and they amaze me. And I cannot wait to see them in two weeks.

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